Observations of Europe

So I’m currently sitting on an overnight train from Prague to Florence and decided that I would like to start my EuroBlog with a list of observations from the past 1.5months I’ve been in Europe. I would like to state that this is my first time ever in Europe and it has been quite a different experience than the ones I’ve had in the States and in Asia. But nonetheless, it has lived up to my expectations and some even more. Note that my observations may be biased because I spent the majority of my time in Spain.

So here it goes…this is a list of observations from a young Asian man in Europe:

1. “Nihao”

China, with a population of over 3 billion people, is the world’s largest country in terms of population size but apparently…Europeans have never seen Chinese people before! Well not exactly but I averaged about 10 “Ni Hao’s” or “Goniwa’s” a week in my time in Europe. At first, I was kind of offended but it eventually became a social norm for me in Europe and accepted it as a fact that unlike in certain parts of the States where there is a lot of racial diversity, there aren’t many Asians in Europe.

I remember my first day in Europe was during a layover in Copenhagen, Denmark. As I got off the metro into downtown Denmark, I was approached by two drunk 15-year olds who stared at me and slurred about 5 “Ni Hao’s” to me. I replied with “Wadddup?”

But yeah, even in Spain and in other parts of Europe, people would always stare at us, the Asians. This was especially when we went out in Spain in a pack of about 20 Asians; we literally created the first Chinatown in Barcelona located in the Citadines Hotel in Las Ramblas.

And on our train ride from Berlin to Prague, while we were departing from a station, these German teenagers wobbled up to our window and gave us the “chinky eyes” look…and I kind of blew up inside but later realized that they knew no better. But that’s the beauty of traveling, you experience cultures from around the world and you realize that no one is the same as you. And when I think about it…Chinese people are probably the most racist people in the world, so I shouldn’t complain.

2. So Sexy

I don’t know if it’s just me but…Europeans are so damn hot. Everybody is tall. Everybody is skinny (but not anorexic skinny). Everybody is in shape. Everybody has a perfect tan. I rarely ever saw anyone who was fat, never one who was obese. How is this so? I could not find a gym anywhere I went nor did I see people jogging around.

Well first of all, it’s probably because Europeans walk everywhere instead of driving. Americans rely so much on their cars (I missed my car so much), that they’ll drive a few blocks instead of just walking. And I may be biased because I was in Barcelona during the summer. I probably am biased but still…everyone was beautiful. Like hella beautiful.

3. OMG…YOU TOO ARE ASIAN! WHERE YOU FROM?

Asians love seeing other Asians in Europe. There are many small convenience stores run by Chinese people in Spain and whenever they see an Asian come in, they’ll be super happy if you speak to them in Chinese. One lady gave us a discount on water from 2euros to 1euro.

I would always stare at other Asians on the streets and other Asians would also stare at me. There was this one instance where I was drunk walking around in a club and a group of Japanese people pulled me over and bought me a few drinks…because I was asian!

4. Coca Cola…SO GOOOOOOOOD

Coca Cola in Europe is so bomb. Coke > Pepsi in Europe because in Europe, their cola is made by sugar cane instead of corn syrup…which makes the world of a difference. COCA COLA…SO GOOOODDDDDD

5. Want to dine in? THEN YOU PAY MORE!

In certain restaurants, they will charge you extra for “dining in” instead of taking out. For example, in this one crepes place in Paris, we were going to take out but decided to dine in instead. But in turned out that the dine in price was almost twice the price of the takeout crepes itself. What the fluck? Fuck that…I Chinese…I takeout and eat in alleyway!

6. Europeans don’t wear shorts? Yes they do.

LIE. I was told that Europeans don’t wear shorts by multiple online sources, but that’s a straight-up lie Rick Steves. When it’s hella hot, it’d be stupid not to wear shorts.

7 Europe cheaper than the States? NO WAY! YES WAY MOFO!!!

As a brokeass Asian, I thought that going to Europe was going to clean out my pockets and my bank account because Europe has this “stereotype” that it’s super expensive. But let me tell you, Europe is cheaper than the U.S. (in many aspects).

SUMMER SALES! SUMMER SALES! SUMMER SALES! When summer comes around, Europe has the best sales on clothing, especially Zara’s in Spain and the same with many other clothing stores. You can see how crazy these sales are just by walking into one of these stores…they are always PACKED. People everywhere. Clothes everywhere. SALES EVERYWHERE. I bought a blazer for 30euros (original price 120euros)…WIN.

And food can be a lot cheaper in Europe depending on where you go. You can get 0.50cent ice cream from McDonalds in Amsterdam. You can get a bigass doner kebab for 3.50euros in Germany. You can get a plate of Chinese food for the equivalent of 3euros in Prague.

8. Me: Can I get tap water please? Waiter: What the hell is tap water?

There is no such thing as tap water in many of the European restaurants. During one of my first meals in Spain, I made the mistake of asking for “just water,” and they brought out bottles of sparkling water. What the hell? In most restaurants in Europe, people almost never just drink “tap water” but rather they drink alcohol, wine, or bottled water.

9. What the pigeon?

So the birds in Europe fly realllllyyy LOW to the point where they’ll swoop right past your ears and scare the shit out of you. I was tempted to grab one of the birds because they kept pissing me off but fended off that idea.

10. Can I get that to go?

So unlike in the States, there is no such thing as a doggy bag or to-go boxes. People either simply finish their food or leave it unfinished. If you ask for a doggy bag, they’ll just look at you funny.

Another thing is that the portions in Europe are extremely tiny. At first, I was like what the fuck, I paid 7euros for a mini-me-size cheeseburger. I’ve learned that Europeans eat not to be full but to be content. No wonder Americans are such fatasses.

As soon as I got back from Europe, everything I ordered seemed to be extra-extra large and I was never able to finish my meal. I had gotten so accustomed to being sated that I forgot the feeling of being full.

11. Bilingual…Trilingual…Multilingual

It seems to me that most Europeans speak at least one language other than their native language fluently. And most people who I have met speak at least 3 languages fluently whereas most Americans seem to only speak English fluently. Why is that?

Perhaps it is because mastering a foreign language is a mandatory requirement in Europe. Whereas most Europeans start learning English in primary school, most Americans are only exposed to a foreign language starting in high school.

Although I took 3 years of Spanish in high school (and had pretty good teachers), it was pretty much useless in Spain. I always tried using it as a courtesy but whenever I tried, they would respond in lightning speed Spanish and all that went through my head was “feklsglekgjl puedes comprar gelljgge en la fefe de fjewlrgkjewrlgj gljkglerj grelgjlrel. Ok?” Si, entiendo…

I met some of my friend’s cousins in Switzerland who were Chinese Swiss and they all seemed to know at least 4 languages fluently. And the kids who ranged from ages 6-11 all spoke German, French, and Cantonese fluently, were learning Mandarin in Chinese school, and were all starting to learn English in school.

My goodness…if I ever have kids, I need to raise them in Europe.